Keepin’ It Real in the Kitchen

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I know that everyone expects a food blog to be filled with beautiful pictures of perfectly cooked or baked foods but sometimes, you just gotta keep it real. Sometimes, a recipe (or the baker!!) goes totally wrong. Really, really wrong. Like today when I attempted to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies. If you haven’t noticed yet from the picture, these my friends were an EPIC FAIL!!! But you know what? That’s completely okay with me because not every recipe will turn out right and not everything will always be delicious. The good news is, it’s in the mistakes that we become better cooks. If you have ever read my Kitchen Disasters – We’ve ALL Been There post then you’re already keenly aware that I’ve had my fair share of disasters in the kitchen. Today was just one of those days. I was off my game and I messed up.

I am someone who thrives in organization and struggles to maintain my focus and keep my cool in chaos. Truthfully, I picked the wrong time to attempt a new baking recipe because at that current moment things in the house were utter chaos. The kids were running around being kids which basically means loud, giggly, and wild. To add to that I had my dog stalking me in the kitchen hounding me to feed her. Music was blaring, the phone kept ringing, and so on and so forth. I’m sure all of you parents out there can vividly picture this scenario. Most of you would have had the common sense to just step out of the kitchen. I, on the other hand, decided to bake cookies. Brilliant idea, right? SO wrong! So, so wrong!

I’m not even sure where it started to go off the rails but I suspect it was somewhere around when I added the butter. I think, although I am not 100% on this, that I added too much butter AND it was too soft. Obviously, at that point I was doomed to fail. But alas, it continued to only get worse. You would think after chilling the dough for an hour I would notice or even care that it still felt mushy. Nope. I just pressed on determined to make these damn cookies. While yelling at someone, I can’t even remember who at this point, I grabbed the wrong size cookie scoop and subsequently rolled out balls of dough that were literally the size of my toddler son’s head. Sure they looked wrong but, whatever! I didn’t have time to sweat those details as I was pulling my kids off of the walls and losing my mind. Then, oh yes…………..this story gets better!!…………….the recipe said to “flatten the cookies into disks“. Sure, no problem. SQUASH!! My gooey, pancake sized cookies were ready to hit the oven. I was killing it with these cookies!!!! ((insert eye roll here))

I am sure that you can assume what happened next in this cautionary tale. When you mix GIANT, mushy, over buttered, pancake sized cookies with heat, you know what you get, right?? Can you say……………SPREADING??!! I kid you not, when I checked on my lovely batch of cookies they were no longer round and cookie like, instead I had three pans each filled with one, huge rectangular blob of cookie. It was such a disaster. I should have pulled them out at the point and given up but again, I just kept pressing on. I let my cookie blob continue to cook, in fact I even let them OVERcook (for good measure) so that when I finally removed them from the oven they were black on bottom, raw on top, and pretty much glued to my Silpat.

After letting these horrid things cool, I tried in earnest to transfer them from the pan to the wire racks however, they weren’t budging. I was literally attacking them with my spatula the way one would use their shovel to hack away at a four foot frozen block of snow at the end of their driveway. It was hopeless. So, I began to just shovel my cookie mess into a pile on the pan so that I could chuck them into the garbage where they belong. As I am doing this I also had to pry my kids fingers from the cookie slop because it didn’t matter to them that they were a hot mess, if it’s sugar and it’s sweet they just want it in their bellies. They thought the cookies tasted great! My sweet babies, I appreciated their confidence in me but for real, these things were awful. So, with the kids finally out of the kitchen away the cookies went into the pail and out to the trash can. Good riddance!

Here’s the thing though, I fully recognize where I went wrong in this whole process but in the end, aside from wasting some ingredients, it was really no big deal to have a kitchen mishap. It happens to the best of us. I would bet good money that Bobby Flay has had a few doozies in his day too but like I said, it’s the mistakes that make us better. Just look at Bobby now!! I chalked up today to bad timing, crazy kids, and lots of distraction. That’s life, it happens! So tomorrow I’ll just get back up on my mixer and try, try again. That’s all I can do! With any luck I’ll be posting a pretty cookie picture and recipe soon!

Feel free to share your kitchen mishaps in the comments section. You know you have them too!! LOL Happy baking home cooking friends!!

 

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